Musings from a dreamer, who fell in love with the Pacific Northwest 18 years ago and in 2011 made it her home. I'm raising a Pinkalicious 7-year-old and a 11-year-old with a big heart - and epilepsy. Ditching perfection, celebrating life, finding joy in the journey and reminding myself daily to Let.It.Be.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Mourning - and celebrating life

I have been inching toward this place for so long. That place where I can see, with clear eyes, that what I've mourned, what I've longed for has been with me -- and is within me -- all along.

Two things are on my mind and filling my heart today. One is the death of a friend with such a big heart and zest for life that he filled up a room. People were drawn to him. I think in part it was because they knew he liked and accepted them, no matter who they were or were they came from. Of course, he had a soft spot for anyone from this small town, Macon.

His death has made me think again of how we hold up in the hard times. That we as human beings are like a metal, forged stronger by fire. Which leads me to the second thing tugging at me today, my son.

Rocketcitymom blog editor Jennifer Breuer featured my story on Aidan's diagnosis and our journey with epilepsy on her blog today. Already, one mom of a child with epilepsy commented. And that is why I wrote it. And that is one reason I started this blog. I've known all along I wanted his story to help others and that I needed to reach out to other moms living in my shoes. But my independent spirit wouldn't allow it. I am strong enough to handle this on my own, I would say.

And for the most part, I did. But I've made my journey through grief and have decided on healing. On being positive and moving forward. On no longer mourning my son, but celebrating him. My God, what a gift he is! And I've spent too much time being sad and disappointed with the child I've been given. This is my greatest lesson. And it has not been easy. Forged by fire.

So check out Even if you're not from Huntsville, Rocket City Mom offers great articles on parenting from one of the smartest, coolest moms I know. Who is also a blessing.

Count yours today. Life is short. Don't waste time with coulds or shoulds. Be present for yourself and those you love.

"Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality." Emily Dickinson

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